We're All A Big Bunch Of Babies

Well, maybe we're not all not all babies, but bear with me. I swear I've got a point to make.

“Adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them.”
― Dr. Seuss

It was one of those random moments where you are sitting there, thinking of nothing in particular, and then you have a sudden, strange epiphany. I and a group of friends were sitting around talking about games, and the discussion had become quite animated. Our conversations varied between excitement about upcoming games that had yet to be released, to Steam's perpetual sales, to which of the big three were the best, to old school games, to classic episodes of Dragonball.

For some reason, that's when it hit me. To listen to us talking, one might swear they were listening to a squabbling group of children. Nope. We all had adult bodies, some had grown facial hair, some were married, some had kids. But it seemed to me that the great irony was that we were still yet kids ourselves, and we had no desire to grow up.

It got me thinking. What exactly is adulthood? What is a grown-up? Paying bills? A mortgage? A job that you hate?

“Don't you find it odd," she continued, "that when you're a kid, everyone, all the world, encourages you to follow your dreams. But when you're older, somehow they act offended if you even try.”
― Ethan Hawke,The Hottest State

Take a look around you, a good look, and you'll see every manner of person trying ever so desperately to preserve whatever they can of who they were before "adulthood" came along. The conventional logic is that we do this because it is the responsible thing to do. Because life is more than just playtime and doing whatever you want. And I would suggest that anyone who buys into that notion completely, is perhaps misunderstanding the true nature of children and youth.

Although fun is a big part of what preoccupies the young mind, it is not their sole aspiration or consideration. Try reading William Golding's Lord Of The Flies and you will see how children understand and grapple with many of the same concerns adults do. Power, loyalty, friendship, betrayal, inclusion, rejection, the need to belong, the need to rule or dominate, jealousy, hatred, it's all there in the young mind.

In "adulthood", we simply learn to fine tune our definitions of all of these things and how we respond to them. Time passes, and we assume we have a better understanding of what life is all about. We assume that all of that responsibility has made us wiser, smarter. And yet, even as adults, we never can escape a simple truth. What makes life special and good is usually the same, to both children and adults.

“Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing.”
― Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.

Life is not complicated. We make it that way. And from my point of view, that is the principle difference between kids and grown-ups. That story about me and my friends? When I think back on that time, it reminded of what happens when you observe children playing in a sandbox. One has a bucket, another a shovel. Some wear shoes, one has lost theirs. One is building a castle, another is drawing circles and shapes.

At first glance, their activity seems disjointed, random. And yet, somehow the children are usually working together, socializing, cooperating, establishing the foundations and boundaries by which they interact. It's all so subtle, yet so profound. And to those small people of the future, that time in the sandbox is all that matters in the world. That's about as real it gets.

Who's friends with who? Who has a crush on who? What should you trade your best friend from your lunch?

The preoccupation with image and self become artificial signatures of what we call adulthood, and I highly suspect that we, as adults are quite frequently sick of it. We don't want to spend every neurotic minute of our lives worrying what we SHOULD be. We just want to be. We want to enjoy life, to explore, to share. All the things that come so naturally... in childhood.

I once was watching an episode of a show called Ninja Warrior on what is now the defunct G4 TV network. In this particular airing, there was an elderly man perhaps in his 70's or 80's competing. I believe he was a sushi chef or something like that. Anyway, he was fully dressed in his official chef attire and holding an Octopus in one hand, his face beaming with pride and contentment. Another competitor was a gas station attendant who proudly showed up in his work uniform.

It was so goofy, and yet so wonderful. And it dawned on me then that part of what I truly love about the Japanese and many other Asian cultures is their distinct ability to not take themselves so seriously, in much the same way children are.

It would not be uncommon to see an impeccably dressed Japanese businessman or executive quietly playing a game on a Nintendo 3DS or PS Vita in full view of other adults, and not a hint of shame or self-consciousness. Not so in America. "That's ridiculous", we would say. "How old is he?" As if reading stock quotes from the Wall Street Journal is more "mature".

In all too many ways, our notions about what constitutes adulthood is pure smoke. An illusion. And one that is curiously, yet deliberately conjured. As a gamer, I have begun to realize that no matter how many bills I pay, what debt I carry, or how many things I own, the best parts of life can only be perceived with the spirit so often found in children.

Life is not complicated. We make it that way.

FIN