Today, Hipster Tuesday is pleased to present an interview with the ever-present, ever-insane CPU. As a prominent member of GIO's community, many of you already know everything about CPU...
OR DO YOU?!?!
CPU
Welcome to Hipster Tuesday, CPU.
Thanks for having me! I'm glad someone here notices my hipster contributions!
You're a pretty big presence here on GIO. You're also a spaz. Can you help readers understand your eccentric personality? Where does the crazy come from?
Yo momma's a big presence!! OHHHHHHHHHHH!!! YOU JUST GOT BURNED!!!! Wait... What crazy? I'm not crazy? Dude, get your facts straight. I'm insane! And it's all because of a lab experiment gone wrong. I'm a robot gone haywire. INTENT ON KILLING ALL THE MISERABLE HUMANS!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! *cough* I mean.... I am human too.... I have a regular human heart and human organs! Wanna see 'em?
...Um, no thank you. Since Hipster Tuesday is a celebration of all things Hipster, tell us about some things that make YOU Hipster in some way.
My processors! I meant, uh... my personality! I take pride in my insane, egotistical, jack of all asses personality. And my flyness. Seriously, do you know anyone as fly as me? Hell, do you know anyone who still says fly? Only a true hipster says fly. And radtastic. And awesomesauce. And amazeballs. I am radsauceballs.
As a blogger, you've done a series of segments called 'SSB Character Interviews.' Wanna tell us about that?
SSB Character Interviews is my... my... *cough* fanfiction... *cough* That hurt to say... Anyway, it's a series of blog posts about the new characters in the newest iteration of Smash Bros. Imagine, if you will, the new characters had to go through an interview process before they were accepted into the game. Each new character is interviewed by a panel of four judges, Captain Falcon, Samus, Link, and a random fourth judge. I've written interviews for Mega Man, Wii Fit Trainer, The Villager, Rosalina & Luma, Little Mac, Greninja, Mii Fighters, and Palutena. (CLICK DEM HYPERLINKS!!!!) I'll also be posting interviews for Pac-Man, Lucina, and Robin sometime soonish.
From your bio, it looks like you're a fighting game fan. Who would you say is the most Hipster character from (*eyes closed, jabs finger at screen, opens eyes*) Ultimate Marvel VS Capcom 3?
FIGHTING GAMES 4 LYFE!!! Most Hipster Ultimate Marvel VS Capcom 3 character you say?Let's go with Taskmaster. He's a Marvel antihero with photographic reflexes! At one point he even took down the Avengers single-handedly! He also wears a cool skull mask. He's awesome! Oh, and I guess I'm pretty good with him in the game...
Ok, onto the much anticipated Suggestions Segment. Tell our readers about your favorite Hipster Video Game...
Hmmmm..... This is more of an old favorite, but I don't think it's well known at all so I'm gonna go with Hot Wheels: Velocity X Maximum Justice!! One of my first PS2 games. As a small Cpu, I loved collecting and playing with Hot Wheels cars. I think I still have my collection somewhere in my room... Anyways, after only having a gameboy color to satisfy my gaming needs for my much younger years, my parents thought it was time to get me a PS2. Upon getting my Sony console, my father took me to a local Best Buy to get four games. I chose Zapper: One Wicked Cricket, War of the Monsters, Tekken 4, and Hot Wheels. All those games hold places in my heart, but my love of the Hot Wheels cars made the game hold an even higher place. It was pretty much a racing game similar to Mario Kart with playable Hot Wheels cars. There were main races with weapons, a free for all battle mode, a mode where you drive around in several large open cities, and a mission mode with some pretty difficult challenges. The game even had some story about cars, or something.... I spent hours on end trying to complete, collect, and concur everything. My best freind at the time would come over for sleep overs and we would stay up all night playing the game. And after I got 100% the first time, I erased the game on my memory card just to complete it a second time. Man I loved that game... Great, now I wanna pull my PS2 out and play it again... That and War of the Monsters. War of the Monsters was a fricking fantastic game too.
Movie?
Now my favorite hipster movie? This one's a bit hard... I absolutely love movies, from critically acclaimed blockbusters to terrible B horror movies. But since it's Hipster Tuesday, I'll pick a B horror movie. Now which movie... You know what, I think I'll go with Killer Klowns from Outer Space. I found this horrible gem from binge watching Netflix. It's premise is simple, aliens that just so happen to look like clowns come down to earth in their spaceship that just so happens to look like a big top and turn innocent townsfolk into... cotton candy cocoons... Yeah... Late 80's science fiction horror at its finest. Crappy special effects and all. Y'all should check it out.
Musical selection?
Music... This might be a bit harder... Have you seen my favorite music section on my page? And that isn't even everything that I listen too! I guess I'll just pick something obscure that I just recently got into...... How about Inf? Well, mostly his album The Go Round. It's just got cool instrumental hip-hop beats. And each piece sounds different and unique. Each song even has random bits of spoken dialogue at the end like electronic tracks. My personally favorite include Whodidit, Power Moves, Baby, Wasting Time, The Boogie Man, and The Go Round. And what I like most is that each track is short, the longest one lasting about three minutes. You just get a taste of each different sound before it switches to the next beat.
Alright, for your last trick, give us some parting wisdom for those readers still trying to attain a Hipster-level of transcendence.
I say be like Cpu! He's cool and awesome. Everyone wants to be cool and awesome, right? But wait... If everyone wants to be cool and awesome, it won't be hipster... I got it! I'll just be lame. Being lame is the new hipster! Cpu patented! But then people will all be lame if they try to be like Cpu.... I got it again! All y'all will be lame, and I"LL be the one who's cool and awesome! So if you wanna be hipster, be lame. Cause lame is the new hipster. But I wanna be the the most hipster... Which means I have to be the most lame! Alright, new, new plan, you all be cool and awesome and I"LL be lame. Yes... Yes!! I"LL BE THE LAMEST AROUND!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! CPU FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And that concludes this odd odyssey into the mind (er, circuitry) of the incomparable CPU. Join us next week as we bring you more Hipster stuff. Remember, you can never have too much. Anyone telling you otherwise is a light-weight...and a sell-out.