Super Smash Bros. Character Interview #1
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Hey there ladies and gents! Welcome to my humble blog. What you’re about to read is sort of like a fanfiction. Except way better… mostly because I wrote it. CPU XL FTW!!!! The reason this isn’t on fanfiction is because I thought it would be better if you, my fellow nerds, read it. I also thought it would be better if I got comments from people I actually kinda know instead of random people who like to read Doctor Who x My Little Pony fanfiction. Friendship is Tardis! And in case you haven’t put the pieces together, you’ll be reading a Smash Bros. story. This is how I’ve set it up; imagine if the new characters that will be joining the smash fest had to go through an interview process first. I’ll be doing this with all the new characters introduced. My first three stories will be of The Villager, Mega Man, and Wii Fit Trainer, respectively. When other characters are announced, I’ll write about their interview process. ENJOY!!!!
WARNING:
This is by no means excellent writing. While I am an excellent writer, I
wrote this story this morning. It was sort of a quick thing I felt like doing
so don’t judge me. #DEALWITHIT
‘NOTHER WARNING: If you feel as if I haven’t portrayed the character’s well, feel free to complain in the comments section.
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“Hey Samus, when was he supposed show up?” Link asked while flipping through papers.
“Ten minutes ago I think,” Samus replied.
“Why is he so late? Didn’t Mario tell him what time his interview was at?”
“Something probably delayed him.”
“Well I hope he doesn’t get delayed at long as Brawl was.”
“Wait, wait, wait, I’m having trouble comprehending this,” Captain Falcon said as he faced Link. “You can talk?”
“Yes, I can talk,” Link said in an annoyed tone. “Why did you think I didn’t?”
“I thought you only said “HI YAA” and stuff. You normally sound like you’ve been kicked in groin.”
Link clenched his fists a breathed heavily. “Why are you even here? Wouldn’t Mario want characters with a few more games to be judges?”
Captain Falcon gave the Hylian a hurt look. “I have eight games!”
Link smirked, “I have at least 20 games.”
Samus decided to chime in by saying,“I have ten games.”
The Captain looked directly at Samus for a few seconds before slowly saying, “Other M.”
To this, Samus stood up, went right up to Captain Falcon, and began to twist his arm behind his back while slamming his head on the table. “Say uncle you falcon fool!” Samus yelled.
“Never!” Falcon yelled back.
Samus began to twist his arm more.“Say uncle!”
“Other M! Other M! Other M! Other M!”
Samus then put all her strength in twisting his arm.
“Oh the pain! The falcon pain!”
“Hey guys,” an anthropomorphic canine said, “You should stop fighting before the person we’re interviewing arrives.”
Link, Samus, and Captain Falcon turned their heads and gave Fox confused looks. “How long have you been there?” Link asked.
“This whole time… How have you not noticed me?”
“Maybe because you only have six games,” the Captain deadpanned.
Fox bared his fangs at Captain Falcon. “Hey Samus, why don’t you keep twisting his arm. I think he’s starting to like it.”
“With pleasure,” Samus said wile twisting the Captain’s arm again.
“OW!! Will you stop doing that?!”
“Um, am I interrupting something.” A slightly robotic voice said.
Samus quickly let go of Falcon’s arm, causing him to slap Link across the face. She sat back down while saying, “No, no, we were just…”
“Stretching out Captain Falcon's back,” Link lied.
“Anyway, we’re glad you could come to the interview Mega Man. We would very much like to have to in Smash Bros.,” Fox said.
“Thanks,” the Blue Bomber replied.“I can’t wait to do battle against Mario and the other famous Nintendo characters.”
“Dream on kid,” Captain Falcon said.“Do you think we’ll just add a random third party character to the already jam packed roster of Smash Bros.?”
“But Sonic was in Brawl…” Mega Man responded.
“Sonic was in Brawl!?!”
“Wow, you have a great memory,” Samus said sarcastically.
“He was probably running to fast for me to see him.”
“Is that why you constantly hit him
with your final smash?” Samus inquired.
“You leave the Blue Falcon out of this!”
Link directed his attention to Mega Man and proceeded with the interview. “Anyways, how about you tell us what makes you qualified to join the Smash ranks.”
“Oh, okay… Well I’m just gonna be frank with you guys, I haven’t really had my own game since Mega Man 10. I need to be in this game. If I don’t, my fans, or fans of Capcom for that matter, might forget about me.”
“Oh sure, you haven’t had a game since 2010, boo hoo. My last game was in ’04 kid! ’04!!” Captain Falcon yelled. He then started to cry.
“I’m getting a new game for the 3DS and an HD remake for the Wii U within in the next couple of months,” Link gloated.
“Yet some people still call you Zelda,” Samus said.
Link stared blankly at Samus. “Why can’t Metroid crawl.”
“Do you want me to twist your arm around too, pretty boy?”
Fox sighed, “Will you guys stop bickering, we’re having an interview remember?”
“Why are you acting all high and mighty? Your last game was for the Gameboy,” Link sneered
“That’s not true, I had a remake of Star Fox 64 on the 3DS two years ago.”
“Remakes don’t count.”
Fox gave Link a quizzical look, “But what about your HD remake?”
“I don’t want to seem like I’m intruding, but could you guys hurry up with the interview? I have to feed Rush soon,” said Mega Man.
“You mean your robot dog?” Fox questioned.
“Yeah, so what?”
“Oh nothing. Concerning the interview, we have a few more areas to cover before we submit your application.” Fox took out pen and flipped through the papers on his clipboard while the other judges did the same. “We will now ask you to show us your moveset you’ll be using.”
“Sure thing, I’ll show you my best.”
Captain Falcon hit a small red button on a box placed on the table. A sandbag then fell from the ceiling and landed in front of Mega Man. “Alright then, show your moves!” This caused everyone in the room to stare at the Captain. “What? Did you expect me not to say that?”
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After ten minutes of Mega Man blasting, cutting, throwing, and smashing the sandbag, Fox told him to stop. All the judges, except for fox, put down their pens and set the papers aside.
“I’m quite impressed with you, Rock,” Samus expressed. “I can’t wait to see whose arm cannon is more powerful.”
“Thanks Samus, I glad to hear that from you.”
“I especially liked you final smash, a lot better than Captain Falcon’s,” Link teased.
Captain Falcon looked past Samus and glared at Link. “Hey fairy boy, when’s the last time you’ve tasted some falcon punch?”
“Not the face! I have a date with Zelda after this!”
Captain Falcon leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. “I thought so.”
Link muttered something under his breath before turning his attention back to Mega Man. “We have one more topic to cover, then you can leave.”
“Great, what is it?” Mega Man asked.
“What should players expect from you while playing the game?”
Mega Man smiled, as he already new what to say. “They should expect a unique moveset, interesting gameplay, and an overall well rounded character capable of taking down even the toughest fighters.”
"Pfft, you better better be well rounded. We don't want another Meta Knight on our hands," Captain Falcon said.
“Don't mind Captain Falcon, he's just jealous because he's in the G tier." Fox said while writing down Mega Man's answer.
"Shut up! I was in the A tier in Melee!"
"Wasn't that when I was in the S tier?"
Unable to think of of a comeback, Falcon huffed and put his feet on the table.
Fox shook his head then showed Mega Man the application. "All we need now is your signature. Sigh here and here and put you initials here. Fantastic, we’ll send in you application right away. Thank you for your time.”
“Your welcome Fox, and I hope you have a new game revealed soon.”
“You too kid, best of luck in you future endeavors.”
Mega Man smiled and waved as he
walked out the door. Fox waved back and began collecting the applications form
the other judges. Link and Samus gave Fox the papers while Captain Falcon met
the canine with a smug look. "What is it now?" Fox questioned.
“I need a new game ten times more than you do, dog breath.” Captain Falcon muttered.
Fox sighed, “You got an attraction in Nintendo Land, be happy with that.”
“Well you have three characters represented in Smash Bros.”
“You mean those clones? They hardly count.”
“Does that mean I don’t count? I’m practically a clone of Ganondorf.”
“Actually, Ganondorf is clone of you,” Link added.
“Shut up, pixie stick!” Captiain Falcon shouted.
“He was just trying to help, you idiot,” Samus said.
“Other M,” Falcon retorted.
Samus smiled, stood up, and punched Captain Falcon, successfully breaking his nose.