In the spring of 1979 I had just turned five years old. One night I was in my parent's bedroom watching television while they were in the other room. This commercial came on:
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEVY_lonKf4
I ran screaming down the hall and hid under the kitchen table, hissing and scratching furiously as my very confused parents tried to coax me out all the while wondering "What in the hell happened?" I couldn't tell them, I couldn't speak english... only terror. I spoke fluent terror.
This is how my relationship with the Xenomorph began.
From that point on every dream, make that every nightmare I've ever had where I either woke up screaming or shot awake drenched in sweat the Xenomorph was involved. Of all the movie monsters ever created this one, this single phallic creation of H.R. Giger was the ultimate monster for me. Almost as if it was personally crafted from my nightmares. Even as old as nineteen I still had the occasional dream about this alien that would force me panting from my sleep. The terror went so deep I believe it is the source of my megamechanophobia; my unreasoning fear of large machinery that manifests every time I pass by an earth mover or every time I delved into a Dwemer ruin in Skyrim.
There's something vaguely 'promethian' about this...
This problem continued until the fall of my nineteenth year, 1993, when I visited London. I was on vacation with my mother, my aunt, and my younger cousin. Mostly I was consumed with visiting pubs but one night my mother convinced me to take in a production of The Phantom of the Opera. It wasn't far into the production before a man in front of me in the audience became irritated with my existence. Every time I sniffed, or coughed, or moved he would spin around in his seat like something out of the Exorcist and violently "SHHHH!!!" me, forcifully enough that his saliva would spray in my direction. After three or four of these incidents I had enough and I got up and left the production, content to track down a pub somewhere in the Trocadero area of London. What I found would change my life.
As I walked past Trocadero Centre a scene on a television caught my eye. It was Alien, but it wasn't any Alien movie I'd ever seen. The sign said 'This Time it's War... Alien War.' Intrigued I descended down the stairs and discovered that this was a guided tour through my darkest fears. Later I would write about my experience inside of Alien War, send me a pm or leave it in the comments if you want to read about it but let's call it a 'graphic rememberance.' The short version of it is I came face-to-face with the Xenomorph... the actual Xenomorph. Alien War had seven of the working suits. When I say working I mean the gorram thing fell out of the ceiling, hissed at me, and its tail was lashing about! Ultimately I felt a little sorry for my fellow tourists; I was nineteen and in the prime of my mosh pit mentality! What Alien War did for me,though, was it stopped the nightmares... permanently. I haven't dreamt of the Xenomorph since.
Alright, I know: virtually everyone hated Colonial Marines. I didn't. I enjoyed it. I managed to immerse in it (As appears to be my gift; ask anyone who read my blog series on Skyrim) and, for a time, I was back on LV-426. I played through the entire campaign, loved it, and even enjoyed the asymmetrical multi-player despite the fact that I could never manage to convince any of my friends to play. Eventually I sold Colonial Marines but I don't regret my time with it. It had a few jump-out-and-get-you moments but ultimately it was just the popcorn flick experience it was meant to be for me. Then I heard about Alien: Isolation. I wasn't convinced; admittedly most games featuring the Xenomorph are throwaway experiences plus October is going to be a very painful month for my wallet. Then I found out it would star Ellen Ripley's daughter. Ok, that drove me away a bit. Why involve Amanda Ripley? The extended scenes in Aliens made it clear that she lived out a relatively banal life and passed away before the events of the film took place. The inclusion of her just made it seem like the developers were grasping at straws. Then I found out about the survival horror aspect of it. Suddenly interest was rekindled. I wasn't sold yet, but I thought it would make a nice Christmas present to add to my wish list. Then this happened:
Sold. F**king sold. The plot to the original film? From the chestburster until she blows it out of the god**mned airlock? Sign me up. In fact I signed up that very day; I stopped at Gamestop on the way home. As it stands right now, July 18th 2014, Alien: Isolation is paid off and on October 7th I will go back into the nightmare armed with a Dolby 5.1 surround headset, a PS4, and nary a light on in the house.
See you guys under the kitchen table.
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